by Michael Kohl
This is the seventh installment of What’s Happening Wednesday, where you find out what XY Unlimited is doing right now – or at least right now-ish.
XY Unlimited is obsessed with stats.
Our favorite video game genre is the RPG (“Role Playing Game”), where a slight +/-1 difference in character stats like STR (strength), DEX (dexterity) or INT (I can never figure out what this one stands for) often spells the difference between a hero’s salvation or untimely demise. James and I both participate in Fantasy Football, a popular game powered by the statistical performances of professional athletes. Christian and Andrew take turns timing each other’s back seat naps and then compare numbers later.
The back cover of our newest album showcases each band member’s stat bonuses.
One of my personal rituals after any XY tour of note is to tally up the relevant stats from that tour and post them on Facebook. We just returned from our big tour of the West Coast last night and, since usual XY blogger James is up in Stockton for Thanksgiving, now seems like the perfect opportunity to bring this tradition to a wider audience.
Without further ado, I give you the most pertinent stats racked up on our recent tour. -M
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Length of tour: 15 days
Gigs played: 19
States visited: 6
Hours in the car: 106
Miles traveled (excluding pit stops): 6,852
Farthest driving destination: Walla Walla, Washington
Most traveled road: the I-5
Hotels slept at: 4
Speeding tickets received: 1
Cars towed: 1
Longest driving day: 12 hours
Yumm Bowls consumed: 5
Most popular tour food: pizza
First runner-up: ice cream
Nuns accidentally flirted with at Subway: 2
A cappella groups performed with: 5
House concerts given: 3
NextSpace locations performed at: 3
Packets of Emergen-C used: 29
Sizable bags of candy given away at NACA West: 2
Items left/forgotten/misplaced by Christian: 4
Times Andrew asked Michael for his car keys (actual): 34
Times Andrew asked Michael for his car keys (imagined): 340
Panic attacks induced by Andrew asking Michael for his car keys: 7
Pigeons performed for (non-feral): Gemini, Mandy, Liddy, Angel, Leo, Pearl, Bijou, and Shadow (8 total)
Pigeons performed for (feral): (consult most recent avian census of Downtown Portland)
Significant others seen: 3
Percentage of band who got to see family: 100
Trips to Canada cancelled: 1
Most listened-to driving CD: Live in Japan by The Real Group
Amount of time between when XY beat the Simpsons arcade game and when the Santa Cruz pier closed, cutting power to the machine: less than one minute
New bandmates on tour: 2
Good times had: countless
Laughs accrued: countless
Amazing people met: countless
Value of tour: priceless
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Is there an important stat we left out? Leave a note in the comments and we’ll make sure to account for it next time. And don’t forget to subscribe to XY Adventures by scrolling up and clicking the little “Follow” box on the right. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
XY Unlimited 
hey Michael can I have keys to the car?
Sure thing Andrew! Can I have some Vicodin and a noose? -Michael
Awesome stats!
INT = intelligence? For casting spells and such?
Casting spells, and enabling more sophisticated dialogue options. 🙂
shows in LA: 0
Ha…true. We’re working on it!
This… Is great. Truly enjoying the obsessive statistics hehe. Any feril pigeon attacks during or after shows? Feeling this could be an important note..
James here. No feral pigeon attacks during shows, but Michael did have a tame pigeon riding on his shoulder during nearly an entire performance of “Put Your Hands Up.” The Pigeon took offense, as it had no hands.